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alright_meow

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[22 Feb 2006|05:03pm]
1.Do you still talk to the person you first kissed?
Nooo, hahaha. I don't even have his screenname anymore.

2. What would you do with 1,000 plastic spoons?
Sell them. Lol.

3. What did you do when you weren't in school in the 2nd grade?
I took art classes. I was actually good.

4. What is the best thing about your job?
The money? The best thing sure ain't being with kids.

5. Do you like more than one person right now?
...I don't know what that means. But I don't think I do.

6. Are you against same sex marriage?
Yeah. For the most part.

7. Did you vote for Bush?
Not old enough, but if I was. I would have.

8. Where are you going on your next vacation?
London, I think.

9. Have you dry humped any of your myspace friends?
No. HAHAH.

10. Are most of your friends guys or girls?
Guys, I hate girls.

11. Do you own any furniture from Ikea?
I used to. I got rid of it though.

12. Last book you read?
Death of a Salesman--AMAZING.

13. If you could have one super power what would it be?
I would be like a remote. Rewind, fast forward and best of all...MUTE.

14. Where have you lived most of your life?
Queens.

15. What was the last convo you had about?
Yale.

16. Where do you see yourself in four years?
Working...maybe Grad school.

17. What's your favorite smell?
Tropical air.

18. What is your favorite sound?
Any music.

19. Are you moody?
Obviously.

20. Favorite movie of all time.
Pulp Fiction.

21. Have you ever done anything vindictive to your classmate?
No, I wish have done like a widespread thing. But nope.

22. Have you ever gone to therapy?
Nah.

23. Have you ever Played Spin the bottle?
Unfortunately yes.

24. Have you ever Toilet papered someone's house?
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. A bunk, yeah. Not a house.

25. Have you ever liked someone but never told them?
Of course.

26. Have you ever gone camping?
Yeah.

27. Have you ever had a crush on your brother's friend?
No brother.

28. Have you ever gone to a nude beach?
No, but I totally want to.

29. Have you ever gone streaking?
HAHAH...one time at camp everyone decided to run down boys line in a bra.

30. Have you ever had a stalker?
Yeah.

31. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?
Yeah.

32. Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?
Obviously, if you haven't...your life is very not funny.

33. Have you ever gone to a party where you were the only who would go to the party and stay sober?
Ummm, actually one time at Erica's house I decided not to drink because about 5 days before I got really sick from alcohol. I was eventually going to drink that night, but the cops came.

34. Have you ever been in love?
Yeah.

35. Have you ever felt betrayed by your best friend?
Obviously.

36. Have you ever lied to your parents?
Yes.

37. Have you ever been outside of the US?
Yes.

38. Have you ever thrown up from working out?
Almost. I've gaged.

39. Have you ever gotten a haircut so bad that you wore a hat for a month straight?
No, but I've cried over bad hair cuts.

40. Have you ever eaten 3 meals from 3 different fast food places in 1 day?
Noooo. Haahaha.

41. Last song you listened to?
Remy Ma- Conceited.

42. Have you ever spied on someone?
Yeahh.. I love it.

43. Have you ever slept with one of your coworkers?
Nope.

44. Have you ever seen your best friend naked?
Yeah.

45. Who was the last person who called you?
Ummm, Dan maybe?

46. When was the last time you slept for more then 12 hours?
Today.

47. Have you ever been arrested?
Nah.

48. Most embarassing CD you own?
Nsync?

49. Have you ever stolen anything?
Nope.

50. Have you ever drank egg nog?
Yeah, it's not that great.
Baise Moi

Christmas with my lovers. [23 Dec 2005|11:46pm]
Ay yo, I honestly got the BEST gifts from my friends this year.

Sam:
1) Photo album so when I get my OWN digital camera, I can put my own pictures in it!!
2) Earrings that are totally me.
3) Spoon ring a.k.a. our commitment band.
4) Music Scene It...honestly we played tonight and me and Sam DOMINATED.

Jenn (She got me good ass stuff this year):
1) Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights soundtrack... I have never been happier.
2) Sex and the City: Kiss and Tell...amazing book about everything Sex and the City.
3) A really sexy belt that I was in the market for.

Christina:
1) Kick ass scarf that I can just see me living in.
2) Really cute shirt from Hollister.
3) Hilarious dog ornament.

Dan:
1) Girl, interrupted DVD. I love Angelina Jolie so, Dan scored points with that baby.
2) Party truth or dare. Amazing...dare I say, classical?

Chris:
1) Requiem for a Dream. An excellent movie.

Greg:
1) Devil's Advocate. Another amazing movie.

I think that's all I got.

Wow...amazing. Just amazing.

I'm leaving for the Sunshine State on Christmas Day, so I guess I'll catch you in the new year.

Buon Natale.
2 |Baise Moi

Hannah and Elyse... [16 Dec 2005|10:50pm]
Apparently, Hannah and Elyse stole panties from Macy's. Yadda yadda yadda, they are banned for 7 years. Who steals drawers? HONESTLY!

You guys got your story...
happy?
Baise Moi

[09 Dec 2005|07:30am]
SNOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW DAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's right, I have no school because there is like 1/2 inch of slush on the ground.
Kirsh, once again, you suck!
Baise Moi

You can't stop Debbie Downer... [05 Dec 2005|10:11pm]
Sam: even if we get like a lot of inches we will have school
Me: who says
Sam: me...i highly doubt well be off
Me: ur a friggin buzzkill
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
4 |Baise Moi

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! [24 Nov 2005|08:02am]
Love to eat turkey
Love to eat turkey
Love to eat turkey
'Cause it's good
Love to eat turkey
Like a good boy should
'Cause it's turkey to eat
So good

Turkey for me
Turkey for you
Let's eat the turkey
in my big brown shoe
Love to eat the turkey
At the table
I once saw a movie
With Betty Grable
Eat that turkey
All night long
Fifty million Elvis fans
Can't be wrong
Turkey turkey doo and
Turkey turkeydap
I eat that turkey Then I take a nap

Thanksgiving is a special night
Jimmy Walker used to say Dynomite
That's right
Turkey with gravy and cranberry
Can't believe the Mets
traded Darryl Strawberry
Turkey for you and
Turkey for me
Can't believe Tyson
Gave that girl V.D.

White meat, dark meat
You just can't lose
I fell off my moped
And I got a bruise
Turkey in the oven
And the buns in the toaster
I'll never take down
My Cheryl Tiegs poster
Wrap the turkey up
In aluminum foil
My brother like to masturbate
With baby oil
Turkey and sweet potato pie
Sammy Davis Jr.
Only had one eye

Turkey for the girls and
Turkey for the boys
My favorite kind of pant
Are corduriys
Gobble gobble goo and
Gobble gobble gickel
I wish turkey
Only cost a nickel
Oh I love turkey on Thanksgiving

--Adam Sandler
3 |Baise Moi

Poor Tara... [23 Nov 2005|04:32pm]
I walk into the gym locker room to store my things for another gym period. I see Tara creep out of the corner. As she gets closer, I notice that her face is a little...different. It's scabbed, it's bruised, it's mangled. I personally thought someone punched her square in the face. I ask her what the hell happened. She continues with a story that I will never forget...

All said by Tara Regan...

Well last night my dogs were fighting with each other. I went to go pull Nellie (5 lb. Yorkie) away from Casey (20 lb. Jack Russel) and Nellie HEAD BUTTED me and clawed me! I saw blood trickling down my nose and I started screaming at the top of my lungs. My mom came downstairs and yelled at Nellie. I thought I had a concussion!

My first reaction was of course shock. Then, naturally, I found the humor within the story. Tara only made it funnier by saying she looks like Sylvester Stallone in Rocky. She also said that she was afraid she would have to lance the bruising on her eyes just as Rocky did. By this time I was beside myself. I started laughing uncontrollably.
Here's a little visual for those who don't understand the Rocky reference...
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

I made a stupid choice by asking why the dogs were fighting. Tara continued to tell me that her dog has possession problems. Go figure.

Another thing that Tara did to make it even more hysterical...She told me that her dog has to be TRANQUILIZED and they may put the dog on anti-depressants. I don't know where I have been but since when have they been putting ANIMALS on Zoloft and other drugs. Clearly, I missed something.

Don't get me wrong, I did sympathize for her. I mean, the girl got attacked by a dog. And she claims she looked "beastly". But, the dog is 5 lbs.

I'm sure Tara will kill me for writing this entry. I just had to share this with the world.

Goodnight and good luck.
Baise Moi

Meet Ben... [20 Nov 2005|10:00pm]
Have You Met Ben?Collapse )
"My new car is hotter than the armpit of joan rivers at a benihana grand opening..."--Ben
1 |Baise Moi

Hip hop? Hip hop anonymous? [15 Nov 2005|10:01pm]
Quiz edited with another one...Collapse )
2 |Baise Moi

Meet Erica... [14 Nov 2005|11:11pm]
Talking about the next Laguna Beach season...

Erica: but who wants to watch fat trash sit around thinking their hot shit
Me: we watch it everyday in school
Me: HAHAHAH! sizzler!
Erica: howwwwwwww
Me: over your head
Erica: i dont get it
Erica: you watch what over my head
Me: LMFAO
Me: go back to sleep
Erica: i wasnt sleeping?
Me: you are diggin yourself in a hole here
Erica: can you throw me a damn rope or somethin
Erica: i need help
Me: hahah
Erica: yooo i really dont get it
Erica: what about sizzler?
Me: lmfao..i was saying the people in our school are fat and think they are hot shit
Me: then im like ohhhhh good diss michelle pat on the back
Me: hence the sizzler
Erica: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Me: hahaha
Erica: i thought you meant you watch laguna everyday in school over my head
Me: hahahahaah
Me: wow
Me: this is lj material
Erica: who?
Me: OH GOD
Me: LIVEJOURNAL
Erica: oh shit. i knew that


See what I have to deal with?
HAHA. I love her anyways.



EDIT


LITERALLY 10 SECONDS LATER SAM MADE A FUNNY...
Sam: my life is a fucking black and white movie...where someone is just sitting in a room...with their thumb up their ass
Baise Moi

Pictures (Sam's) [06 Nov 2005|03:00pm]
Click for PhotosCollapse )
4 |Baise Moi

Two stories from the life of Samantha Seligman... [06 Nov 2005|02:46pm]
Setting: A unisex Old Navy dressing room. Circa 5th grade.

It was when fleece outfits were in. Sam's mom took her to Old Navy to get a fleece outfit. Sam was changing in the dressing room and she looks down and sees a naked man rolling around on the ground. She explains him to be hairy and red assed. She was immediately scarred for life and now always feels uncomfortable when in or around an Old Navy store.

Story number two

Setting: In Boston on a land/water Duck tour.

On a school trip to Boston all the children went on a Duck tour. While they were on land Sam looks outside only to see a man in a trench coat with rings on almost every finger and gold necklaces. What was he doing there you ask? He was giving Sam the finger, of course. Sam turned around to see if anyone else had seen this. Ben Resnik did. He was cackling.
3 |Baise Moi

[05 Nov 2005|12:32pm]
This guy comes over and he sits down and asks me what time the bus would arrive and so i get up and look @ the thing and i tell him..and hes like ok..and so he asks me if i live in the neighborhood and i said yes..and hes like "OH! i live around the corner!" im like ok..and so then hes like you're goin to school? must be ending soon..and i was like yea soon (that was actually my last day but i didnt wanna tell him that) and so hes like "whats your name?" and i said "i dont think i wanna tell u my name"..
and hes like ok..then he goes "Leslie??" im like what??????? hes like.."your name..is it Leslie?" im like "uhhh no" and then he starts randomly guessing names! so i go "im not gonna tell u my name!!!" and he goes ok..then like 2 minutes later he says "ok i should be going now" and he leaves!!! he wasnt even waiting for the friggin bus.

A story from Nicole Lazazzaro's very strange life.
5 |Baise Moi

I stole this from Jenn.. [04 Nov 2005|05:51pm]
MMMMM, quizCollapse )
Baise Moi

FUNNIEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN... [02 Nov 2005|10:41pm]
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Regis and Kelly as Ashley and Mary-kate Olsen.
2 |Baise Moi

If you want to laugh...read this. [31 Oct 2005|10:17pm]
A story as told by Nicole...
my parents went to an anniversary party for my neighbors on saturday and the bartender tries to pick my mom up!!!..and my dad was right there...the bartender was all like "do u do anything kinky???" and all this shit..so my dad didnt do anything then cuz he didnt wanna ruin the party but yesterday he goes back there!...

he goes up to the guy and goes "im Sam do u remember me from yesterday?" and the guy's like no..my dad goes "do u remember my wife Rita" "no" "we were w/ the McKenna family do u remember that?" "no"..so my dad goes..u were attracted to my wife and i can understand that but but to ask her if shes kinky and things like that is just uncalled for..i think you're a horrible businessman..and...(shit i cant remember the rest lol)..and the bartender goes ok why dont u sit down and i'll buy u a drink...
and my dad goes "if u buy me a drink you're gonna be wearing it" and then he left lol


HONESTLY...
I LAUGHED FOR A GOOD 10 MINUTES.

IT GETS BETTER...
Me: WHATD UR MOM SAY TO THIS GUY?
Nicole: she was like goin along w/ it!!!! friggin slut
1 |Baise Moi

Stolen from Sam...if I didn't write this I'm sure I'd get an earfull. [27 Oct 2005|08:40pm]
STAR NAME
(your middle name, street you grew up on)
Rose Forest

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME
(grandfather/mother on mother's side first name, favorite snack)
Annabelle Pretzels

3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME
(first word you see on your left, favorite restaurant)
Green Tenjin

4. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME
(first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)
S. Mvit...BAD! Sounds like a terrorist name.

5. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME
(favorite animal, name of high school)
Puppy Jericho

6. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME
(middle name, city where you were born)
Rose Little Neck...BAD!!

7. YOUR OPPOSITE SEX NAME
(name of sibling/parent [opposite sex], cell phone company you use):
Edward T-Mobile...LMFAO

8. YOUR STAR WARS NAME
(first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name)
Vitstapix....THAT IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Baise Moi

Long time, no speak... [24 Sep 2005|12:43pm]
I haven't really posted a real entry in quite some time. So I figured I would write one. Well, school started obviously. It's not that bad, not that hard...yet. Except for AP US, I read so much for that class and I'm not much of the reader so it's hell for me. Chem is a breeze, English is a joke, Spanish is a waste of time, and what other class is there? Hmmmm, Math, oh yeah, Math is easy too. School started off really chaotic because of what happened... R.I.P. Matt. Then, a friend of mine broke his hip while playing football. I wasn't there to see it but I could only imagine. He's getting better though. Today is homecoming and Me and Sam are selling shirts for spirit club. We are so cool it's really ridiculous. Yesterday, my mom totally suprised me with tickets to see The Machine (a Pink Floyd tribute band). They aren't some garage shit band, they are amazing. The 2nd best thing to the boys themselves. It was the crowd I expected. Part older people, part burnouts, part stoners, part younger kids. I actually was watching this woman clearly have a really bad trip. Then, her date or whoever got her ass out of there. The crowd was hysterical though. During song breaks they would scream out which song they would like to hear next. Of course, by the end of the show they started screaming out things like... "STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN!!" "FREE BIRD!!" "SWEET MELISSA!!" "MUSIC!!!!" "LOUD NOISES!!!!". Someone seriously screamed out "LOUD NOISES!", I immeditately fell in love with them. They played a little bit of everything which made me happy. They didn't play "Have A Cigar" though, which made me sad. And NO ENCORE!! Wtf is that shit? Yeah, so anyway, I need major change. My life is so boring and predictable. I need to meet some new people. Obviously I loooooove my friends. But, I'd like to expand my horizons.
Okay, I'm done writing. I'm bored with this.
--Vita
2 |Baise Moi

I posted this a long ass time ago. But, still, it's so true. [22 Sep 2005|08:38pm]
HERE ARE JUST A FEW TYPES OF PEOPLE I CANT STAND..

Mofo’s that take your shit, and then ask “Can I have it?” – SHOULD’VE ASKED ME BEFORE YOU TOUCHED IT THAT WAY I WOULD’VE JUST TOLD YOU TO GO FUCK YOURSELF INSTEAD OF SMACKIN THE STUPID OUT OF YOU

Douche bags who stare at you like you grew a dick on your forehead. — KEEP LOOKING, HOPE YOU SLIP INTO A PUDDLE OF STD’S

Pussy farts that knock on a door and say “knock” “knock” -- THAT’S NOT THE PASSWORD FUCKO, YOU CAN’T COME IN!

Dumb-shits who have cell phones and wristwatches, yet look at their cell phone for the time – NICE JACKOFF, NOW TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES HOLD ‘EM IN YOUR HANDS AND WALK IN YOUR STINKIN’ SOCKS

Perfolactics that sing Karaoke – OBVIOUSLY “DIGNITY” IS NOT A WORD YOU’RE FAMILIAR WITH

Dirt bags behind you in traffic that honk – I DON’T HAVE A MONSTER TRUCK ASSHOLE, AND IF I DID, I’D REVERSE.

Birth defects that play dress up with their dogs – THAT’S ANIMAL CRUELTY AT ITS FINEST, THE DOG IS NOT GAY, YOU ARE.

Fruit tarts who color their hair rainbow colors – YOU ARE NOT A PARROT, THEY CAN FLY, TRY IT, JUMP OFF A HIGH LEDGE

Putas who read directions for microwave meals – JUST NUKE THAT SHIT FOR GOD SAKES

Maricons who reference God for every little fuckin’ thing – GOD I HOPE YOU GET STRUCK BY FUCKIN LIGHTNING

Dim-wits who are always politically correct – I HOPE “THE NIGGER, THE MIDGET, THE KIKE, THE INDIAN, THE CHINK AND THE SPIC” GANG BANG YOU

Vaginal discharges who when repeating things do it slowly – LOUDER NOT SLOWER MORON! MATTER FACT I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT U HAVE TO SAY EITHER FUCKIN WAY!

Lowlifes who think holes in jeans is a trend – NEW TREND HOLES IN HEAD, HOLD ON LET ME GET A GUN, WE’LL PUT YOU ON A RUNWAY

Jackoffs who stand in front of you in line in McDonalds and study the menu – THIS AIN’T A CALCULUS EXAM GENIOUS, PICK A COW AND KEEP FUCKIN MOVING

Derelicts who order veggie burgers – MMM, MMM, MMM HOPE YOU CATCH FOOD POISONING

Girls that wont suck cock – IT’S A PENIS FLAVORED LOLIPOP, FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM

Guys that won’t lick pussy – GOT A PROBLEM WITH THE SCRAMBBLED EGG BETWEEN THE LEG? CUT YOUR TOUNGE OFF, YOUR MOUTH IS OFFICIALLY WORTHLESS

Nosy asses that stare into your book while you’re reading – IF YOU’RE SO INTERESTED, ILL BE HAPPY TO SELL IT TO YA FOR THE CANADIAN PRICE

Mutts that say they are a quarter something – YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN A QUARTER SWALLOWED

Fat basterds on subway diets – IF I KILL YA, ITS OKIE I HAD SUBWAY FOR LUNCH TODAY

Careless assholes that press the wrong button on the elevator and then apologize – IN THE MID EAST, I BET I COULD CUT A FINGER OFF FOR EVERY ACCIDENT, YOU’D MAKE THAT MISTAKE MAX 10 TIMES

D.N.A. dumpsters that giggle – EITHER LEARN HOW TO LAUGH, OR SHUT THE HEHE UP

Parents with loud ass kids – HIT EM! IT’S OK! THEY ARE EXPECTING IT!

Jimmie-hats who roll their eyes – UNLESS YOU’RE O.D.’ING FROM DRUGS, YOU’RE A MORON

Dickheads who have rugs by the door that say, "Welcome!” – BUT AS SOON AS I COME THEY TELL ME TO LEAVE!

Dumbass’ who call you at home and ask, "Where are you?” – I TAKE THE FIFTH ON THAT QUESTION!

Idiots that fart and then deny it. – CALL SAFTY! WE KNOW IT WAS YOU!

Retards that come over and ask, “Can I use your bathroom?” – NO!

Assholes who cut you off and then go slower. – STAY THE FUCK BACK!

Schmuck’s that throw out pennies. – ITS MONEY GIVE IT TO THE POOR, BETTER YET GIVE IT TO ME!

Friends that come over and eat all your food. – FUCK! THIS AINT BURGER KING! HAVE IT SOME PLACE ELSE!

FuCkErS WhO TyPe LiKe ThIs aNd tHiNk iTs cOoL. – IS YOUR KEYBOARD BROKEN? GET A NEW ONE!

Those who think Meetspot.com is the best thing that ever happened to the internet. – YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

Like I hate people that say like after like every word. – I CAN'T EVEN COMMENT ON THIS ITS SO STUPID.

Remedial cocksuckers that correct your spelling, when you have a Type-o and they fuckin' know it. – ITS NOT AN EXPRESSION OF YOUR INTELLECTUAL SUPERIORITY YOU DOUCHE!

Degenerates that try to use every internet abbreviation for everything. – O I C U R AN SOB Y DON U STFU N SPEAK PROPER ENGLISH. “LOL” “LMAO” “ROFL” N GO FU UR SLF.

Infidels who stare at you while you eat. – JUST ASK ME FOR SOME I PROBABLY WONT GIVE YOU ANY ANYWAY!

Peeps with no sense of humor. – THIS SHIT AIN'T FUNNY HUH? OK FUCK YOU THEN!



HERE ARE SOME NEW ONES FOR U SAVAGES

Religious people - SMITE THEM

"Richard Craniums" that talk way too loudly - IF I WANTED AN ASSHOLE TO SPEAK, I'D FART

Whiny little bitches - YOUR DEATH IS INEVITABLE

Cum stains that follow directions to a "T" - (1)OBTAIN HANDGUN (2)PLACE AGAINST TEMPLE (3)PULL TRIGGER SLOWLY (4)WAIT 2-3 MIN AND ENJOY

Canadians- EH, JUST BECAUSE EH!

Waists of sperm who survive suicide - ASSHOLE, THATS JUST ANOTHER THING YOU CAN'T FUCKIN' DO RIGHT

Fat people in tight clothing - WHO ARE U FOOLING, YOU JUST LOOK LIKE YOU ATE A SKINNY YOU

Mechanics, Doctors, and Lawyers - HOW FAR WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO BEND OVER?

Fuck-tarts that order diet drinks in McDonalds - TRY THE VEGGIE BURGER
Baise Moi

[28 Aug 2005|03:45pm]
Click for pictures from BermudaCollapse )
1 |Baise Moi

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